17 September 2008

The Hell You Say!

I received an e-mail from a friend yesterday, asking me if I had heard of the book, "23 Minutes in Hell," by Bill Wiese. Although I had not, the title and my friends synopsis piqued my curiosity so I googled him and found his devilish antics posted all over the place.

Mr. Wiese, a realtor from California, claims that on November 22, 1998 at 3:00 a.m. he was "plunged into Hell, not in a dream, but in actuality." Okay....whatever! That just so happens to be the same year that I got married...so, by November 22, I had already spent 215 days in Hell. If Mr. Wiese got a book deal after 23 minutes, I shudder to think what I might have missed out on. Hell! I've been there, done that, and got burned in the process.

Yep, he was just "lying in bed," minding his own business when "the Lord picked him up and threw him into a prison cell in Hell." Then "out of the darkness appeared two enormous beasts, approximately 10 to 13 feet tall." Mr. Wiese describes them as "hungry predators." Okay, here's a newsflash for you Mr. Wiese...you and your wife are Realtors in California...you wanna talk "hungry predators?" It was your conscience speaking to you, the ghost of your sinful past. Haven't you ever watched "A Christmas Carol?"

His wife tells how she woke up to her husband screaming from the living room. She looked at the clock (because you ALWAYS want to know what time your husband is screaming) and it was "exactly 3:23." She describes running into the living room and finding her husband "traumatized and holding his head." (make the voices stop...I'm guessing???) The first thing he did was ask his wife for a glass of water (confirming the exhausted expression, "people in Hell really do want ice water.")

If for no other reason but a little Stephen Kingish humor, you must go check out the YouTube video of Mr. and Mrs. Wiese. She looks rather tall (enormous beast, perhaps) and he looks like one of the oompa loompas from the Wizard of Oz. I'm thinkin' somewhere around 2:59 a.m., she rolled over and said, "What part of NO don't you understand, Bill?!!

But seriously, I must give the guy credit where credit is due. What an ingenious scam! Who's ever going to be able to do a "background check" on that one? Cha ching, cha ching, cha ching! They said Californy is the place you oughta be, so they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly, Hills, that is...swimmin pools, movie stars." I would like to follow up on what he and the Mrs. are doing now, ten years later. I have this visual of him getting out his little "pitchfork," and her STILL telling him to "Go to Hell!"

Funny stuff people...funny stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9BbFPkgr04

I would love to hear your thoughts.

The Paper Whisperer

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

H-Y-S-T-E-R-I-C-A-L!!!!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Love your book review, ma'am. I'm too chicken to doubt it mighta really happened! ;)

The Paper Whisperer said...

Thanks Angie and I hear ya! Don't tell anyone, but, I would be lying if I said I wasn't just a little scared of the dark last night. I finally decided that God knows I have been through enough the last six months!!! I had sweet dreams...hope you did too!

Taliana said...

I am still laughing....

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahaahahah

Anonymous said...

not funny