28 April 2010

Three Strikes You're Out!

"A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future."
Author Unknown

Manicure? Really? I'm thinking there's a better chance at finding a cure for cancer than ever finding a cure for a man. How 'bout you? What is it exactly, about men, that makes them so inept when it comes to remembering and honoring the sacred vows of matrimony they took before God, family and friends? Is it all just a big joke; a taping for an episode of Greatest Sport's Plays of All Time?

Marriage, in a man's world, is not unlike a baseball game. Fanny on first, Kitty on second and Bunny on third, and oh yeah, then there's home, that place they eventually come sliding into. Safe (this time), but don't think that the "Ump" doesn't have her eye on you! What part of love, honor and obey, don't they get? The irony is that a huge percentage of men remarry within a year of getting divorced, otherwise known as, "caught in the act." Why is that? Because they want their wedding cake and eat it too, that's why!

I do believe men have hit an all time low with the latest fad of getting caught cheating and immediately admitting themselves to a rehabilitation clinic for "sex addiction." I think it was David Duchovny of X-Files fame who started this new trend. Tiger quickly followed suit after his multiple "fly balls." But I think the lamest attempt at stealing base was Jesse "D'oh" James (Mr. Sandra Bullock). It took him a couple of innings before he realized he could use the 'ol rehab play to his benefit. (I think his brain has been damaged by a little too much tattoo ink.) Well, poor little Jessee didn't realize that his "Pitcher" was not still standing on the mound spitting and adjusting her balls. A little too late on the Home Run, Slugger! You're outta here!

It's so refreshing when women, like Sandra Bullock, don't make excuses and don't accept it as, "his little addiction." I hate that women feel like they have to stay for "the children." What are you teaching "the children," exactly? Every child I know that was one of "the children" whose parent stayed after infidelity, is in therapy for skewed perceptions of right and wrong. Should I stay or should I go? What is right and what is wrong? Let's see. How can I put this in simple terms? Mrs. Bill Clinton=IDIOT! Even if I wanted to vote for her, I wouldn't have, based simply on the fact that she wasn't strong enough to stand up for herself. How on earth could I trust her with my country?

I'm saving the "best" for last, of course. John "you phucking a-hole" Edwards! You want to run my what, Fruitcake?!! You don't even deserve the doghouse that is currently keeping the rain off your head, much less the White House!! HIS WIFE IS DYING OF CANCER while trying to take care of all their children and deal with the loss of one of those children while he is out making more children! This is how he sends his wife, the mother of his children, to her final resting place? Well isn't that a fine parting gift?! And still she manages to muster up some semblance of dignity to help get her through. He was her worst cancer.

And let's not forget the heart wrenching pain and subsequent after-shocks that come with infidelity. Once the bond of trust is broken, you can never get it back, no matter how many bogus rehabs you enter or therapists you see. Going, going, gone....outta the park! See ya!

I think cheaters should be forced to do a stint at Sheriff Joe Arpaio's, "Center for Rehab," in Maricopa County, AZ, complete with the notoriously famous PINK standard issue uniform. And how about an added big green "A" sewn on the front, which doesn't, by the way, stand for Athlete.

I hate to clump "all" men into the pig category because I know some really, really good ones, like my 10 year old, for instance. Respectful, considerate, funny as all get out and passionate about integrity. And who can he thank for that? Me, his mother. Forget that whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" schitt! Men are from their mothers, period, end of story. And I say, shame on some of you mothers!

Okay, I'm finally through ranting and raving about infidelity. It just seems to be an epidemic of late with Matt Lauer being the latest swine making yesterday's news due to allegatins of a tryst during his coverage of the Winter Olympics. I guess it's about time for a Fatal Attraction Part 2, "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Mistress Scorned." Hide your bunnies, ladies.

Batter Up!
The Paper Whisperer


Tina :) said...

I'm TOTALLY with you on this one!!! I've been scorned NUMEROUS times by the same idiot & after much therapy & soul searing have finally decided that enough is enough. I deserve MUCH better!!!! You have to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. And I love myself ALOT now!!! And if living the rest of my life for less than I deserve means being by myself than so be it!!! God Bless You!!! Like I always say....I'll ALWAYS give you the truth...BUT....if you want something sugar coated than go buy a donut!!!! :)

The Paper Whisperer said...

Tina..."therapy and same idiot" in same sentence = RUN,DON'T WALK! Next time save your money and holler at me! Chances are I've been there, done that and have the scars to prove it. I'm so happy to hear that you love yourself "now." I am currently "courting" myself, but looks like love is on the horizon! Working towards the perfect sunset. LOVE YOUR QUOTE, "I'll always give you the truth, but if you want something sugar coated then go buy a donut!" Amen! Thanks for stopping by!

unomattwill said...

Of course I have to agree that MOST men think with another part of there body besides the brain! It has been society that says we all most be monogamists. I mean look at birds, for the most part they are monoganists also. But look at all Robins(no pun intended) they all look the same....all penguins look just alike! My point is, why have an affair with another penguin....it looks and acts just like the one you have now! Mammals on the other hand usually go by the biggest alpha male gets the whole harem! Until a younger stronger male comes along and roars louder and blows his chest up enough to scare the old, and probably "wore slap out" reigning male off! But these alpha males take good care of all the females in his harem!

Now, one other thing....lets not forget the females that have life in the palm of there hand and somehow see fit to stray beyond their boundaries ! I think theres alot more out there than is known. Women just dont go to Monday Night football and between touchdowns have to brag about how many tackles they made.

You sure do make me think....and thats a good thing! love ya girl!

Anonymous said...

Just discovered your blog and saw myself in this post. I'm really struggling with "my other's" latest so I've resorted I guess to internet advice. It is just so emabarassing to talk to people you actually know. All the typical "cheater's" signs are back - very secretive about being late - where and with whom, very touchy about the computer and especially touchy about the cell phone. Yes I know that anyone with nothing to hide would have no problem letting their mate see, hold, or use any of these things. I also know this behavior would be enough proof for most to make an end of it (but here's the "but") I've so much invested that I feel I need better proof - the "undeniable" kind. And this is where you are absolutely right about men (some of them anyway) treating marriage like baseball, because to some of them it really is just another game!... "Just how far off base can I play and not get caught?"
Congratulations on raising a son to respect women and try to be a little kinder to those of us who did not divorce "for the sake of the kids". I've always thought it takes more courage, bravery and effort to stay "in" than to jump "out" and still I'm not sure how I did it but my daughter in law says I couldn't have raised a more caring, giving, compassionate or, best of all, LOYAL son.
Now that I've accomplished this I wouldn't mind following Sandra Bullock's lead - if I just had her finances.

The Paper Whisperer said...

Hey Mattman! Birds of a feather flock together, so naturally, I enjoyed your two cents on my story. Obviously you didn't see March of The Penguins or you'd know that not all penguins are alike. Hmph! I'm a little confused about the "alpha male taking good care of ALL the females in his harem." Are you saying that it is okay to have a whole harem as long as you take good care of each "hare?" I guess that is what the Mormans do....it'd just never work for me! But I'm glad I made you think! That IS a good thing! Love ya back and miss you!

The Paper Whisperer said...

Hi Anon (sounds like a pretty Hawaiian name..tehe) Sorry to make a joke when you are obviously hurting...it's just my nature. I've covered up 49 years of hurt with my laughter and old habits die hard...know what I mean Jelly Bean? Anyway, back to you...I "resort" to the Internet for everything and thank God for it. I met one of my best friends ever (Hey Amy!!) on a website while searching for answers and help. I wish I had some sage advice to offer you, but I just don't. I would, however, like to apologize for coming across as unkind to those of you who don't leave. I believe that each of us had to do what we feel is right in any given circumstance. My "right" is to always run like a bat out of hell to higher ground; a safe haven...wherever the hell that is. Which is precisely my point....who's right and who's wrong? The problem lies, for me anyway, in the ability to pick a worthy mate. I suck at it...BIG TIME! Right here I could go on and on and on about gut instincts and red flags, but I haven't quite mastered the course yet. I wish you all the best and you should be so proud of the loyal son you raised. In the grand scheme of things, isn't that what matters most; putting our own afflictions aside in order to allow our children to persevere in the most productive of manners. Kudo's to you kiddo! And Happy Thanksgiving.