18 June 2011

Weiner's Schnitzel

"Men have become the tools of their tools."
~Henry David Thoreau~


So, yet another politician is caught with his pants down. I was "almost" as shocked as I was when the 89 year old Hugh Hefner's 25 year old fiance called off their wedding. (I'm tearing up as I type)  Perversion; a prerequisite for political employment, just as Priests must be (at least) bordering on pedophilia and Firemen must be hunka, hunka "burning" loves!




In a "sext" message sent to former porn star, Ginger Lee, Weiner typed, "Alright, my package and I are not going to beg. We both see the hazard of going down the path of comparitive sexiness." As far as I can see (or want to see), Anthony, there is nothing that even remotely compares you to any type of sexiness. Ugh!

As a matter of fact, you remind me of "someone," I just can't seem to put my finger on it. Hmmmm...
In a follow-up sext message, Weiner wrote to Lee, "You aren't giving my package due credit." I have six words for you, Congressman; be careful what you wish for. I believe it's safe to say that your package is certainly getting more than enough credit now, whereby, taking a whole lot of pressure off the Vienna sausage, Governor Schwarzenegger.


I'll have to admit, the empathetic side of me felt a bit sad for him while watching his resignation being aired. Perhaps it was not so much for him, but rather more for the situation he has created for himself and the repercussions that will follow. Naturally my thoughts went immediately to his beautiful wife of only 11 short months, who is in the early stages of pregnancy. What the hell were you thinking Anthony? What or who caused you to become such a misogynistic jerk?!


And then there was an obnoxious heckler there that was driving me crazy and I kept wondering why he was allowed to continue his infantile rantings while the shamed Congressman was trying to say his peace. It wasn't at all surprising to find out that the heckler was an employee of the Howard Stern show. Go figure.

So where does an unemployed Weiner go (after the rehab card is played, of course)? Great news! He's already received a job offer from Larry Flynt, founder of Hustler Magazine (Ouch...salt in the wound). Flynt has offered to pay 20% above the salary he earned in the U.S. House of Representatives. And according to the National Taxpayers Union, his 12 years in office have earned him a pension (penis pension?) worth $1.2 million. Not too shabby for not even pulling down his tighty whities (thank god for small favors), which is a helluva lot more than we can say for Arnie. The maid, really? So very cliche'.
It's difficult to see the picture when we are inside of the frame. Break the cycle and have the upper hand in sealing your OWN fate.

Politically, and otherwise, uncorrupted,
The Paper Whisperer

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love Doxies!!! I have two, Frankie and Chili Lili....♥
Enuf.... Weinergate! Oh yes, they say she runaway when his robe untied! ROFL......Pati

The Paper Whisperer said...

LOL, I knew you were going to say something about the Doxie! Tried as I may, I COULD NOT pass up a Weinergate piece. hahaha The subject matter was way too inviting, although I had to "mustard" up the courage to tackle it. And yes, she did runaway exclaiming, "Ill "ketchup" with you later. NOW...I've had "enuf" Weinergate. :D

Anonymous said...

That was perhaps the funniest thing I've ever read. I especially loved the part about Arnold Schwartzensomething and his Vienna sausage. :D Laura

Anonymous said...

Oh Pleeeeeeeze! Stop with all the "mustard", "ketchup" puns! I'm surprised you left out that his wife has a "bun" in the oven! :p ‎...and you're not fooling me...I know you "relish" the opportunity to write these things! =) Jack

Anonymous said...

It's "chili" enough in here to shrink Weiner's weenie. Laura

The Paper Whisperer said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! The mice have been around while I was out, I see! I love it!

Anonymous said...

I just realized I spelled wiener wrong. I think I can honestly say I've never typed that word before.

The Paper Whisperer said...

Well, LoBo, like I always say, why type weiner when you can type STEAK. Huh, huh, huh? :D

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't Weiner be pronounced with the long "i" sound anyway?

The Paper Whisperer said...

Donnie, I cannot tell you how many times I have wondered that exact same thing! Of course, pronounced like that, brings up a whole new set of material. haha

Anonymous said...

Sunny Robin, you are too too funny!! I loved your 'Vienna sausage' reference to Arnold, and your 'penis pension.' Weinergate makes me miss my mom all the more; being a political wonk all her adult life she would have had a heyday with it. You brought a smile to my face today. Ann