25 May 2011

Not so fast there, Daddy-O(we)!

"The son whines to his father, "You messed up my childhood!"
And the father says, "How could I, son, I wasn't even there." ~Anonymous

When I opened my email yesterday morning, I saw the most touching story about a woman in Arizona who was handed a $93,000.00 check for back child support collected after 30 years. "THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!!!" A very familiar story that is so close to mine, and millions of others hearts. Sadly, these type of "Happy Endings," are few and far between so I felt compelled to share this amazingly beautiful execution of justice.

Doesn't it seem a little forked up that our government was able to find Bin Laden in ten years and yet, it took the DES (Department of Economic Security) 30 years to catch up with some loser who went out for a gallon of milk and forgot to come back home. Let's see some of that Seal Team 6 action converging on the massive amount of deadbeat dads out there.

I will never understand how any father can just financially AND emotionally abandon their child and still sleep at night. Why are [most] mothers so different? The majority of us would give our lives for our children, without hesitation. Thankfully, modern technology has made it so much easier to track these amoeba down. Thirty years ago when I embarked on my futile journey in attempts to obtain child SUPPORT, the process was long and arduous. And since I was a struggling single mother (like most are), I was unable to hire an attorney, but rather had to trust the system that is set up for "us;" a system that failed me time and time again. Where the welfare of children are concerned, NOTHING should ever have to be that hard.

And unfortunately it goes far beyond the monetary ramifications; as if that isn't stressful enough. The emotional repercussions of an absent parent are felt far into adulthood and more often than not are repeated in the life of the abandoned child. Yet another vicious cycle in the dark world of abuse.

And as mothers, we want to protect our children at any cost, so instead of espousing what we truly want to say about the absent parent, we make excuses for their deplorable behavior. The last thing children want or need to hear is what a scum bag, piece of shit, self-righteous, self-serving dirt bag their sperm donor was/is. (Yes, I have excellent taste in men) Their soft little hearts shouldn't even have to be burdened with this information. Besides, they only recognize love until they are "taught" hate. Life is hard enough.
I have also met some amazing men in my lifetime who touched my heart with their instinctive and more than willing support for their children. No wage assignments, no forced visitations, no mounting needless legal expenses, just and abundance of love and gratitude for the privilege to be called parent. Ahhhhhh....

Enjoy Kathi Petersen's story while living vicariously through her joy and tears. It gives me hope in collecting my own $30,000. PLUS interest!! Never say never girls!


Don't stop believing,
The Paper Whisperer


Anonymous said...

Hey PW. As one that gets to watch countless children grow up with and without fathers, I am continually amazed at how the kids handle it. There are special ones that get ahold of your heart and you refuse to let them go. We always say we love them as if they were were ours, well they are our kids in every sense of the word. If you don't believe it, ask them, or their moms.

The Paper Whisperer said...

Oren, you are so right! I've witnessed, first hand, how loving and attentive you are to all of "your" kiddos. If only the world had more men like you. I am sure you have changed many lives by your simple acts of kindness. You're a Prince!