"I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know."
~Gary Shandling
Trust me, you are not the only one that finds it a wee bit strange that I am neglectful when it comes to updating my blog, and when I finally do, I'm *forcing* you to read, yet another, "wee willy winky" story. I "swear" I'm
not perverted, but rather appalled at the outpouring of seemingly intelligent people sending pictures of their anatomies across the wires of late.
Sadly, the latest "Weiner Du Jour" is one of my (former) heroes, Chris Hansen, whom I fell in love with while watching him nab sexual predators on Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" series. Ironic, isn't it? For those of you unfamiliar with the show, To Catch a Predator was a series committed to taking down would-be predators through an undercover sting operation. Chris Hansen was the omnipotently cool host who appeared from behind the scenes to inform the alleged pedophiles just how unlucky their "lucky day" was going to turn out. *SMILE* you're on "Candy" camera! Ugh!
While still reeling from the Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger news (not really), I log into the WWW and see Chris Hansen in the headlines. I swear I would have refrained from writing about it had all the headlines not been so damn funny, beginning with the one I woke up to from the Huffington Post: "This week in famous people sending dirty pictures to women who aren't their wives, Chris Hansen reportedly texted and emailed explicit photos to his alleged mistress." That headline had me rolling as this new "fad"
did seem to have reached epidemic proportions. It's no longer "only" the country that has fallen on hard times. (That was bad, I know)
The world continued to take jabs at Mr. Hansen and they all made me laugh. The funniest aspect of the story was the "who" that was behind the undercover sting operation that left the bad taste of his own medicine in Chris' mouth. The National Enquirer, that's "WHO!" That's just gotta hurt! I guess it could have been worse.
A Miami New Times blogger wrote, "Yes, yes--we're supposed to be really mean to pedophiles, but that's the job of the courts and big prisoners named Tree Stump, not a guy who's supposed to be an investigative reporter. The man does not have an ethical bone in his body and now even his wife and kids know it."
Zap2it Blogger wrote, "Hey pedophiles who are rejoicing about Hansen getting a taste of his own medicine: sit down, you're still pedophiles. He wins." The visual on that made me laugh out loud. (Exuberant pedophiles, joined hands, laughing and dancing in a circle in the common room as the 5:00 news reports the "Breaking News" regarding Chris Hansen).
Perhaps the greatest consequence of Mr. Hansen's untimely behavior was his lost promotion with Dateline. According to the New York Post, NBC was set to name Hansen as the new Dateline anchor next month filling Ann Curry's spot after she landed the top job on The Today Show. "The plan has been scrapped by NBC brass who believe the scandal has damaged Hansen." That's kinda huge, isn't it? ! I certainly hope it was worth it.
I'm still having a hard time wrapping my brain around the concept of forwarding these illicit images. IF you've seen one......well, I'm just sayin'. Do the senders get pixel envy? What are they all thinking? Am I soooo "old school" because my phone is devoid of any text-ticles? "I" equate it to shopping for eggs. Sure, the carton reads small, medium or large, but then again, they can write anything they want to, can't they? One thing's for certain, always has been, always will be, you boys are certainly proud of your packaging and more often than not, are hard pressed to put all your "eggs" in one basket. But that's okay, those of us who are older and wiser ALWAYS check for cracks!
Forever Sunny Side Up,
The Paper Whisperer
